Pairing: Jaemin (main), Jaeho
Genre: Angst, NC-17 (so that includes swearing and a lot of semi R)
Summary: Love can be very critical even hurtful and deadly at times…
A/N: It’s my first time writing an NC-17 fic so please tell me if I’m missing something! Hope you guys enjoy this! Dedicated to Bii (my co-owner) love you dear!
“Changmin…” Jaejoong hesitated after knocking into Changmin’s door knowing he was disappointed with him. “Can I come in?”
After closing the door Jaejoong noticed Changmin’s room was dark and the light from the moon was the only source of light. As the young man glided towards the oldest of the group, he noticed that he wasn’t wearing anything except the bath towel around his waist. Jaejoong was stunned when Changmin suddenly nudged him against the wall. He could feel the latter’s warm breath on his neck that made him feel uneasy.
“What…what are you doing?” Jaejoong noticed that he was panting which made his words seemed like a moan. He felt helpless.
“Can’t you see hyung, I want you. You like it don’t you?” Changmin whispered on the other man’s ear in an enticing tone after kissing his collarbone that made Jaejoong groan.
Changmin ripped Jaejoong’s shirt before pressing his body hard enough to make him gasp.
“Changmin…please…stop…this. I…don’t…like it.” His words seemed helpless with a part of him feeling satisfaction and wanting more from Changmin.
Changmin chuckled. “If you don’t like it, then why are you moaning like you still want more? And if you don’t like what I’m doing then you should have pushed me away from the start.”
‘Shoot! Why do I feel this way? I don’t want to hurt Yunho’s feelings.’ Jaejoong thought of Yunho for a second when suddenly he felt Changmin’s lips crushing his. He felt a sense of pleasure from Changmin’s kiss that he gave in and pushed the young man to the bed.
“I know you want me too. You just don’t want to hurt his feelings. I promise he won’t know this.” Changmin’s words were flat that it made Jaejoong feel unsure of his words.
He kissed Jaejoong again this time with more passion down to his neck and his chest. Jaejoong can’t do anything but hold the pillow beside him tightly to keep himself from moaning too loud. It felt too good to resist the pleasure of Changmin. He could feel Changmin’s soft lips kissing every inch of him.
“Who’s better now? Me or Yunho?” He asked in a nonchalant manner. Jaejoong noticed the bitterness in Changmin’s voice as he said Yunho’s name while looking straight at his eyes.
“Huh?” Jaejoong answered naïvely.
“I’m asking you who’s better. Me or Yunho?”
“I’m sorry but I’m afraid I can’t answer that.”
“So you want more of me before you can answer my question?”
“No that’s not it and this isn’t the reason why I came here.”
“So I guess that’s a no for me then,” Changmin said in a flat monotone.
“I’m sorry Changmin I know you love me that much but I really love Yunho. He’s all I ever wanted in my life.”
“But why? Why can’t you learn to love me Jae? What do you see in bastard that I don’t have? Don’t you see Joongie I’ve been there for you when everyone turned their back at you? HE BROKE YOUR HEART ALREADY BECAUSE OF THAT WHORE! Do you really want to break your heart because of that fuckin’ bastard?” Changmin said in a furious voice as he sat at the side of the bed with his fist crumpled into balls. It made Jaejoong worry since Changmin was a very sensitive person to begin with.
Changmin’s words suddenly reminded Jaejoong what Yunho did to him few months ago. He still recalls that painful moment when he saw his boyfriend having sex with a woman at a nightclub. His world crashed right in front of him but no one even noticed his pain and Changmin became his only refuge. Since then, Changmin became one of most important people in Jaejoong’s life and now seeing him being hurt because of his selfishness puts another wound in his heart.
“Changmin please, don’t do this. It only makes my heart ache to see you like this. You need someone better than me who would make you happy. I’m no good for you. Foolish people like me don’t deserve to be happy.” Tears soon started coming down on Jaejoong’s eyes as he pleaded Changmin.
“The only reason why you’re being so foolish is because of that stupid son of a bitch you know!!! FOR GOD’S SAKE JAEJOONG OPEN YOUR EYES!!! HE’S NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD!!! HE DOESN’T EVEN LOVE YOU AND YOU KNEW THAT WELL!!!” Changmin’s harsh words pierced Jaejoong completely that he can’t even answer all he can do was look away from the young man’s ranging eyes.
There was a long silence that filled the room…
“It’s going be very hard for me to forget you Jae but if that’s what you want then I’ll do it. But before I leave you, just spend one night with me…that’s all I’m asking.”
Before Jaejoong could react on Changmin’s words, he felt the young man’s mouth crushing his. Changmin’s tongue caressing his and the taste of his sweet breath made Jaejoong's world turn forgetting everything and everyone especially Yunho. Now pressing his body hard against Changmin, Jaejoong could feel the adrenaline rushing through his body. Changmin’s hand curved around Jaejoong's shoulders, moving slowly down his back and over his waist tracing along his chest and down his abdomen reaching his pants. Changmin paused there, giving Jaejoong a faltering look and nodded in response. Then the young man continued to kiss Jaejoong all over his neck down to his sculptured chest while taking off the bath towel that was tucked tightly on his waist and unbuttoning Jaejoong's pants and taking them off. Jaejoong could feel his damp porcelain skin against Changmin’s warm russet skin, giving him some kind of frenzy that he never felt before not even when he slept with Yunho for the first time did he feel this kind of pleasure. He felt the blood getting in his head making him unable to think properly.
A long night came after that…
“Former DBSK member and singer Shim Changmin was found dead in his apartment last night. Sources say that they heard a gunshot at the star’s penthouse at around 11:00pm. Investigators found a gun on the scene of a crime and are now suspecting the he committed suicide after overdosing a bottle of sleeping pills.” His knees felt like rubbery all of a sudden making him kneel on the kitchen floor. He can’t believe what he just saw. The man he spend the night with just a few days ago is now a cold body tucked inside a bag going to some hospital to be examined. He felt numb for a second before realizing that the man who loved him more than everyone else is gone. Tears came rolling down from his eyes.
He can never redo things again.
He lost his lover.
He lost him.
He’s all alone
All he can do now is blame himself and apologize for everything…
My deep apologies to the MOD of JAEHO YOUNGWONHI.
Sorry for the trouble.